Is Love supposed to hurt?

According to “Dear Abby”, Love doesn’t hurt. Real love is supposed to make you feel better! How many of you can say that this is true in your case? I hear people telling me that in a relationship, you have to work at it. Why? I don’t understand the concept of working at it. If love is unconditional, then what is there to work at? Is it the compatibility? Is it the forgiveness? Is it the opening of the mind and heart because we are now dealing with another person and his/hers feelings and interests and habits and everything that […]

Generation “O”

Generation “O”, my definition for Generation “older”. To be an older gay male in today’s society and a double whammy, to be single, really sucks. No pun intended! How did we get to be where we are today and are we relics? How do we begin to date and be taken serious? When I was in my 30’s I thought I knew where I would be today in my early 60’s. Guess again. Life will throw you so many curve balls. I have people tell me, “You don’t look 62, I thought you were early 50’s” and it’s flattering because […]

Sexuality and Open communication!

In my naiveté having tried dating sites a while ago at the recommendation of friends, it amazed me the number of gay men or closet cases who just wanted a quick hook up. The part that really fascinated me, and of course I did NOT meet any of these people since at the time was hoping to have met someone to actually date, were the number of seriously closeted straight men either married or in a relationship that wanted to experiment and fulfill a fantasy, or fetish or sexual need. I ended up doing more counseling with these men than […]

The Narcissistic Behavior

What is the Narcissistic Behavior? How do you recognize it? Is it a form of abuse? To answer the last question, YES! It is. The Narcissistic behavior is someone that constantly will berate you, make you second-guess yourself, even when you know you are right. They are loath to any change and as a matter of fact, cannot accept change whether in their surrounding environment or in their relationships. They will include you to make you feel a part of their life, but then knock you down at the first opportunity they get. In the workplace, they will berate you […]

Social Media and Relationships Part 2

Social media has affected how we interact on all levels. Why is it when someone texts, the first reaction is one of negativity? I know that when Facebook came out, I had to learn as not rile the recipient, like when – oops! – I hit the caps lock and they thought I was yelling at them. Or if you want to stress a word, you couldn’t italicize it. So I would cap it, again causing miscommunication. I learned my lesson when I lost a very good friend because of misinterpreting messages in the chat room we were in. So […]

Social Media and Relationships Part 1

Social media has certainly affected society and relationships. Years ago, we actually had to either talk to someone on a device tethered to a wall and bare callused fingers to actually dial or push buttons with numbers on them in order to speak to someone live! And, (gasp!) prior to the telephone, people actually had to write letters, in stellar penmanship and no spellcheck! Now, everything is done through texting, and yes I am guilty of it, however not only texting, but also SM (social media, like a disease!) has steered how we interact, see ourselves or hide behind a […]

Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day. Some cynics will avow this holiday is nothing more than another corporate means of cashing in on something called love, which should be celebrated every day with that special person in my opinion. However, it’s always nice to get chocolate, especially since dark chocolate is supposed to be a great substitute for love – or that’s what the Internet says! Some will state it’s a holiday celebrating “singleness.” Of course, the Hallmark Channel exhibits nice young and attractive white people always finding love with the same storylines, just different actors! But what exactly are we supposed to […]

Regrets & Expectations

To have regrets would mean to have changed the course of the present. To state “I wish I had never met you” or “I wish I’d never done XYZ” could mean negating all the positive developments up to this point. Think about it! Would you have still achieved the goals you had? Painted that picture? Written that novel? Taken that cruise? It’s like in It’s A Wonderful Life, where George Bailey says to the angel Clarence, “I wish I’d never been born,” and he gets his wish, then sees what life would have been like had he never existed, with […]

The New Year’s Resolution

Happy new year! It’s nice to read my Facebook friends’ resolutions for 2020, most being losing weight, being nicer, and being more responsible. While these are all great and valid goals, what if we strived for that better self? Some called it self-actualization during the 1980s while others gave it a more religious overtone. But in the end, what could we do to make 2020 a better start to a new decade? It seems that the world has taken a huge step backwards, which trickles down to all facets of life. In my naiveté, I thought as we moved into […]